Importance of Coaches

When your children play sports few people are as important in their lives or make as great of an impact as their coaches.

Of course, the best way to be involved in your children's interests is to volunteer to coach or assistant coach your children's teams.

Most importantly, you should remember to respect your children's coaches and treat them accordingly. You may not agree with all of their decisions, play calling, etc. But the fact still remains they are volunteers. They are volunteers who take time out of their own lives, time away from their jobs and families to help your children. They deserve to be treated with respect as such, especially if you aren't willing to do it yourself.

Some of the worst behavior I've seen directd towards coaches (even umpires & refs) has come from people who are in positions in the community who should absolutely know better and who should be setting good examples for our children not acting disgraceful in front of them. 

DON'T BE THAT PERSON!!

Something to think about...

As a person who grew up in & out of the DCS & foster care system i'd like to draw your attention to child abuse in this country.

A classmate & sweet friend of mine was very upset this morning after reading that a guy he had went to high school with is being charged for shaking his 5 week old child so badly that it had even detached the babies retnaes.

It's happening & it's happening a lot!! The pictures statistics point out that 5 children die every day from child abuse in the US. Let that sink in for a minute! 5!! 5 children in this country die every day from child abuse!! How can that even happen?

Helpguide lists descriptions of each form of child abuse, how to spot it, and what to do if you know a child who is being abused.

It is important to remember that child abuse is not only physical abuse ending with bruises or marks. It can also be neglect. Neglect is the main way that my brother & I were abused. Our parents were addicts who were more concerned with their next fix & parties with their friends than they were with us.

Child abuse & neglect leaves scars that last a lifetime on children. I am almost 40 & still experience residual effects from my neglect. It does not just go away.

This video is a sad eye opener the first time I watched it, it was gut wrenching to me cause I was this girl. I still cry when I watch it.

Please if you even suspect child abuse or neglect report it! Do what you have to do to get that child help. We should not live in a world where 5 children die a day from abuse.

Partners

A lot of my posts are about being a mom tonight i'd like to talk with you about your partner & his role in your kids lives.

I am very fortunate to have a, for the most part, pretty amazing husband who is an even more amazing dad. He has invested countless hours in building our children up. He has coached or helped coach all of their sports for years & years. He helps them with school work, helps get them where they need to be (even when it's states away for baseball), does his best to never miss anything they do, and so much more--he's just overall a pretty great dad and husband.

In this day & age when both parents almost have to work having a spouse that will help out in the home & kid life is a neccesity. I wish everyone were as lucky as I am.

I know, I know there is much debate on this topic, but as a kid who grew up without a father I can not stress how important I feel fathers are in a kids life. Parenting magazine had a great article on this subject that I agree with whole heartedly. When I was a kid growing up in the foster care system there wasn't anything I wouldn't have goven for a dad half as good as my husband is to our kids.

So appreciate your husband & the role he plays in your kids life. It's also as equally as important as your role in their lives.

The little things

I've had a great couple days with my daughter. We went school shopping Thursday afternoon & this afternoon I taught her how to make her favorite dinner. She is enjoying learning to be a little independant much to my sadness. I strive to keep these little times in my heart, it wont be long til they're long gone & my kids are off being adults.

As nice as it was to help her learn to make her favorite meal so that some day she can make it for her own family. It was also a tad heartbreaking; she's growing up too fast. It also leaves me with those perilous questions all moms have--what will I do when the kids are grown? Who will I be? So much of who I am is wrapped up around my children who will I be when they are grown & gone....it's a scary thought.

I read an article in The NY Times that has helped me quite a bit to think about what my future may hold when my kids are grown. I literally fear empty nest already.

Mom life struggles

What do moms do when there are no kids at home?

This doesnt happen often in my house. Both of my kids are at the fair with friends tonight & my hubby is at work. So what am I doing?

Well, super exciting things like.........laundry, dishes, vacuuming--you know all the super fun stuff moms get to do.

I always think I will do all these great things for myself when the kids aren't home. But this is the inevitable trap that I fall into.

What are some other more for you things you can do when the kids are away:

• Take a bubblebath
• Give yourself a pedi/mani
• Catch up on something you want to watch (no cartoons or kid shows)
• Have a glass of wine
• Read an actual adult book 

Enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts

Quick, easy & yummy

As I discussed in a previous post, dinners are super hard when you're a busy sports mom. We live out of our crockpot, I try really hard to have to eat fast food as little as possible; though sometimes it is unavoidable. Tonight starts my daughters first cheer practice so we are eating out of the crockpot tonight.

I got this recipe from Pinterest. It is my kids absolute favorite crockpot meal. Kids always love tater tots. I've never been a fan of them because of the consistency, but I do enjoy them in this meal. It's quick, easy & yummy especially on a cool fall night.

If you have not already taken my advice--get a crockpot now. I own three!!

Super Mom

As moms we do everything, from house work, to kid work, to jobs outside of the home, and some of us go to school. That's my life now. I go to school full time, work full time, sit on 2 of my kids sports boards & find time to do house work & things with the kids. Right now on top of all of that we are planning a cheer competition that we are required to host this year for my daughter's cheer.



How do we do it all?



I find it easiest when I am super organized; I am already very type a, so organization is my thing.


Verywell has great tips for busy moms that I try to live by. I do struggle with saying no, that is my biggest weakness. I need to learn to say it more often!! I just want my kids things to go well & be enjoyable not just for them but for all kids. So saying no is a real struggle for me.


If you're like me we should practice saying this word: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!! Try saying it more often.

Just when we thought our season was over.....

Just when we thought our baseball season was finally over we get sucked right back in. Our son got a call about playing for a travel ball team & of course his answer was "heck yea" cause he loves & lives baseball. So, now here we are getting ready to travel to New York for baseball tournaments again. Travel ball is fun, but alot of expense & work. I've had lots of people ask me why we put out all of that money for travel sports. My answers are simply:

1.  We let our kids decide if it is something they want to do; it is completely their decision so that we know it is truly something they want to do.
2. I am a firm believer in "idle hands are the devil's playground." I would rather pay money for my kids to do the sports they love to do than see them sitting around or running around with nothing organized to do resulting in them getting in trouble. 

Huffington Post has a nice article that i really agree with listing 9 reasons why playing sports are good for children. They are all legitimate reasons for children to play sports. Like I said my main belief though is absolutely "idle hands are the devil's playground." There are so many temptations for kids today that can lead to trouble so keep that in the back of your mind the next time your kid wants to play a sport & you don't think you have time or just don't want to deal with the hassle.

The struggle is real

This is me this week!!! Anyone else? What is it with pre-teen girls? I always thought girls were supposed to be cleaner & more organized than bots. Not my daughter!! My teenage sons room is pretty spotless; my ten year old daughters is a WAY different story. Her room looks like a freaking hurricane went through it at all times. My ocd can not handle her room. She is like miniature size hoarder. It's a constant battle to the point that I just don't go in there unless I have to. After reading lots of debates and advice on how to handle this battle I have chosen to avoid it. Pick your battles moms and I'm not picking that one. Kidzedge has a nice article on whether or not kids should be forced to clean their rooms. It's the main reason I've decided to just avoid the battle and live to fight another day. Battle on moms!

Girl nights

It's girls night at my house. We did our toenails & now we are eating ice cream & watching Disney's Descendants 2. Girl nights are super important to my daughter & I. It's hard in the chaos of all the kid's sports to have quality time  to spend with your kids one on one. I try to have an afternoon or evening with one on one time for each kid once a month. I'd like to do more but sports make it hard. My daughter & I usually do home pedicures then veg out watching girl shows. Last time i introduced her to the cheer classic Bring it On. Kids are only yours for so long, once they hit the teen years they're too cool for you. My advice is spend as much time as you can now while you can.

Meals on the go!

It is super hard to be a sports mom & keep it all together. You're so busy all the the time. How do you do everything that needs done? One of our biggest issues is not having to/wanting to eat fast food every night. No one wants to eat McDonalds every night, no one!!!

To combat this, we live by our crockpot. I actually bought a 3rd crockpot because we eat out of it so much that it was hard to keep it clean for the next day. Now I can rotate them on a daily basis.

I also use Pinterest as my main go to, to find crockpot recipes cause noone wants to eat the same crockpot food every other day either. It is amazing how many different crockpot recipes there are out there, who knew!

Be a good sports mom and do your kids & yourself a favor--get a crockpot & checkout some recipes for it.

Horrible Loss

My daughter's Sunday school teacher lost her 1st baby during the birthing process this week. She is a lovely, young girl who I have always had the utmost respect for. I am very heartbroken for her not only cause I love this girl & she is experiencing the worst loss a mother can ever experience, but because I also, along with many other women, have experienced this loss as well.

So as a friend or family member what do you do to help your friend or family member who is experiencing such a horrible loss?? It's so hard to know the right things to say or do. Everything you can think of just sounds horrible or unhelpful in your head. There are so many people who send cards or flowers or other types of condolences.

The one thing that has stuck with me for the 18 yrs since I lost my first baby to stillbirth is--one night about 2 months after my daughter had passed away my dear friend, Taffy, snuck onto my porch after dark, rang the doorbell & left. When I opened the door there was a lovely basket filled with some of my favorite things: my favorite candy, chips, cereal, flowers, a book by my favorite author, etc & a card from Taffy saying she just wanted to do this so I knew she was still with me & thinking of me.

This is what my daughter & I will do for her Sunday school teacher.

Still Standing magazine also has a great article on how to help a friend survive the first year after baby loss. It can be a huge help to someone trying to help a friend through such a tragedy.

End of a Season

If my children didn't play every sport known to man this would be my life now. But luckily (or maybe not sometimes) it is not. Baseball is for the most part over for us. So what do we do now you ask. Well we have summer league basketball & football practices, as well as the occasional travel baseball tournament, of course. Tonight I am sorting hoagies from Marianna's for a fundraiser I headed to benefit our schools football program. (If your local & never had a hoagie from Marianna's you need to get one asap) This brings me back to my original post about the importance of volunteering & helping with your children's sports & other groups. I can not stress how important this is. These groups are for the most volunteer driven. They all, even school sports, need all the help they can get. So many school districts are cutting funding to school sports programs. It really does not take a lot of time to head a fundraiser; I spent maybe a total of 7 hours (that's even being generous) spread over 2 months organizing this one. Fundraisers really are important to the programs & especially to the kids who benefit from all of these programs. So, I encourage all if you again to get out there & volunteer!!

Parent Breaks, Vol. 2

     To build on my last post Parent Breaks, I want to add a couple more thoughts on this topic. While your kids are very important in your life, there would be no kids if it wasn't for your relationship with your spouse. That's how the whole thing starts--with your relationship with your spouse, starting from your first date & built upon up to your having the kids.

     It's very easy to forget this after the kids come into your little family. As moms we tend to want to focus mostly on the kids, it's our nature. As dads, especially if you're a sports guy & your kids play, you want to focus on the kids playing sports. These things leave very little time for your marriage, especially when added to work schedules & other commitments.

     Putting your marriage first is so important for several reasons:

1. Not only was your spouse there before the kids, but when the kids leave the nest it will be your spouse who is there alone with you.
2. Having a loving, attentive relationship with your spouse teaches the kids what to look for in their own adult relationships, kids learn most by example.
3. So many marriages are failing these days with lack of spouses attention being cited as a big reason why in most.

    I'm sure there are a plethora of other reasons that a person could come up with, but those are my top 3 reasons.


My husband & I try to do as much as we can together as time allows. He is my best friend, I can't think of anyone I would rather spend my free time with. (Other than my kids of course) It is hard to think of things to do together so I found this helpful list on Pinterest to share with you. Just some easy quick ideas you might be interested in.

Parent Breaks

Being a parent is hard, being a sports parent is even harder. It's hard to get a break from your kids, it's harder to do that when you're running from field to field. Today my husband & I got a rare break & we took the time to attend Monty Python's Spamalot at MillBrook Playhouse. If you've never seen a play we highly recommend it. MillBrook is our local playhouse; they put on amazing plays. Our playhouse also has kid geared plays. Last year I took our daughter to The Little Mermaid. It was a great show & got our daughter interested in theater. She will be attending the Jrs acting camp in August. They will be putting on Madagascar Jr.
  If you are fortunate enough to have a local playhouse take my advice & take some time away from your kids & the fields to attend a play with your spouse. You won't regret it! It is so, so important to spend some alone time with your spouse.

Hurt Ball Players

If you've been to as many Little League games as I have you've seen kids get hit pretty much everywhere with the ball. It's always scary, but never as scary as when it's your kid who gets hit. As my son was pitching tonight a batter line drived a ball back at him straight into his rib cage; he dropped like a sack of potatoes. Nothing is more terrifying to a baseball mom than seeing that happen to your boy. As i watched helplessly all the coaches were on the field and an emt parent. Thankfully my boy got up, but as all players do they still want to play.

My son was benched just in case of a blood clot or fracture, much to his disappointment, even though he swore up & down he could play. Boys want to be tough & still play no matter how hurt they are. Ball moms have to remind them after the game no matter how disappointed they are their coaches have to do what is best for their health & safety. Pat their backs, wipe their tears, & tell them its ok; you love them even when they are on the bench hurt. Another thing I've learned the hard way no matter how bad you want to run out on that field or court DO NOT do it!!! If your sports boy is like mine he will die of embarrassment when he gets up. Just don't do it. Trust me on this!

Navigating the Teen Years

   We are kind of newer to the teen years since our son is only 15. But holy cow this is hard already. Right now my 6'5" teenage son is standing in a corner where I'm pretty sure I may leave him there for the rest of the night with the exception of baseball practice. What do you do with a talking back teenager? I do not know!!! I have had several bad thoughts cross my mind today, though none are effective parenting. Lol, I even asked my husband if it were too late to put him up for adoption. All joking aside if you too are having this problem what do you do that is effective? Think about it for a minute......

Webmd has a list of tips that you may find helpful while you try to hang onto your sanity. I know I may lose mine.

Family Holiday Get Togethers

     With a holiday comes the inevitable family get-together. With some families these get-togethers bring lots of dysfunction &/or frustration. Today at our family get-together my 10 yr old daughter learned a lesson about some things being better left unsaid. This is a hard lesson since you teach your children to be honest but also need to teach them that sometimes complete honesty can be a little mean. My children are older; they are 10 & 15. Their cousins are younger. Younger kids don't always understand boundaries; they just know they love their older cousins & want to be up their butts basically. My kids just came home from a weeks vacation with their younger cousins which probably caused some of my daughter's frustration today. As we were leaving the family cookout my nephew asked my daughter why we were leaving to which my daughter, in total 10 yr old brutal honesty replied to get away from you annoying me. Of course my nephews feelings were hurt, rightfully so. And my daughter had to apologize.

     Then we had to explain to my daughter why even if that is how you are honestly feeling you don't say it to someone since it is hurtful. After many tears from my daughter, I think she came to understand that discretion is the better part of valor. And we continued our 4th celebration by making our annual trip to 4th Fest. If you have never taken your family, we highly recommend it. They have so many great things going on. You may even be able to catch a Spikes game. Happy 4th everyone!!

Terrified Mom

 While scanning through Facebook today a post from our local news came up that terrifies me. Wnep reported an overdose epidemic in Lycoming County (just 35 minutes from our town), there have been 51 od's in the last 48 hrs. This terrifies me as a mother!!!
 I like to think that as the child of 2 addicts I have made my children well aware of the effects drugs have on you as a person & on your loved ones. I've shared terrifying stories of the horrible things I was forced to live through as a child of addicts. I like to think that keeping them interested & busy in sports will help keep them from that path. But the bottom line is we can't know what our children's futures hold for sure. All we can do is try our best to get them on the right path & hope we did a good enough job.
 That being said I encourage all of my fellow mothers to educate yourselves on the warning signs of drug use, a good site is sobernation.com/teen-drug-use and educate your kids on the effects of drug use even the ugly things you don't think a kid should know. Be involved with your kids, their interests, their education & every part of their lives that you can. Because living with an addict is a nightmare, this I can promise you.

Sports Parent Volunteering

We've been Sports Parents since our oldest was 4, he's now 15. Our kids play almost every sport known to man; We chase sports teams all year round. We've seen every type of sports parent there is. Some of the best advice I've ever seen is in the above picture. 

As every summer past our son made a baseball all-star team last week. Thinking over the past week of all the years we've been involved in youth sports has reminded me of one of the most important rules listed above: Thou Shall VOLUNTEER. Today I'd like to talk with you about the importance of that. 


Kids need sports to help form them into well rounded individuals. Sports teach them comradery, esteem, teamwork, how to lose, how to win, how to be humble when winning, how to be gracious in defeat, & so many other things. Sports help them form friendships. And they need you as a parent to help make these things happen.


My husband & I have done our part for years; He coaches, umpires & was the Area Director for our local ayso program. I've sat on little league boards, on booster club boards, been team mom year after year, sport after sport, & am an Assistant Cheer Commissioner. Through all of these we've seen & heard every excuse there can be to not volunteer. All the parents who sit on boards have too. We get it your busy, you've got jobs, you have other kids & so on & so forth. So are all of us!! We have jobs, other kids, and all those things too. But we understand that in order for our kids & yours to play the sports that will help mold them into the people they will become there has to be people to help run these sports. 

Your kids & all the kids need you to step up & help in any way you can. Be a team mom, volunteer in the concession stand, coach, assistant coach, help head a fundraiser. Just get INVOLVED!! You will feel good about helping kids & it will help teach your kids to get involved when they're adults. Teach by example.
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