Horrible Loss

My daughter's Sunday school teacher lost her 1st baby during the birthing process this week. She is a lovely, young girl who I have always had the utmost respect for. I am very heartbroken for her not only cause I love this girl & she is experiencing the worst loss a mother can ever experience, but because I also, along with many other women, have experienced this loss as well.

So as a friend or family member what do you do to help your friend or family member who is experiencing such a horrible loss?? It's so hard to know the right things to say or do. Everything you can think of just sounds horrible or unhelpful in your head. There are so many people who send cards or flowers or other types of condolences.

The one thing that has stuck with me for the 18 yrs since I lost my first baby to stillbirth is--one night about 2 months after my daughter had passed away my dear friend, Taffy, snuck onto my porch after dark, rang the doorbell & left. When I opened the door there was a lovely basket filled with some of my favorite things: my favorite candy, chips, cereal, flowers, a book by my favorite author, etc & a card from Taffy saying she just wanted to do this so I knew she was still with me & thinking of me.

This is what my daughter & I will do for her Sunday school teacher.

Still Standing magazine also has a great article on how to help a friend survive the first year after baby loss. It can be a huge help to someone trying to help a friend through such a tragedy.