Horrible Loss

My daughter's Sunday school teacher lost her 1st baby during the birthing process this week. She is a lovely, young girl who I have always had the utmost respect for. I am very heartbroken for her not only cause I love this girl & she is experiencing the worst loss a mother can ever experience, but because I also, along with many other women, have experienced this loss as well.

So as a friend or family member what do you do to help your friend or family member who is experiencing such a horrible loss?? It's so hard to know the right things to say or do. Everything you can think of just sounds horrible or unhelpful in your head. There are so many people who send cards or flowers or other types of condolences.

The one thing that has stuck with me for the 18 yrs since I lost my first baby to stillbirth is--one night about 2 months after my daughter had passed away my dear friend, Taffy, snuck onto my porch after dark, rang the doorbell & left. When I opened the door there was a lovely basket filled with some of my favorite things: my favorite candy, chips, cereal, flowers, a book by my favorite author, etc & a card from Taffy saying she just wanted to do this so I knew she was still with me & thinking of me.

This is what my daughter & I will do for her Sunday school teacher.

Still Standing magazine also has a great article on how to help a friend survive the first year after baby loss. It can be a huge help to someone trying to help a friend through such a tragedy.

End of a Season

If my children didn't play every sport known to man this would be my life now. But luckily (or maybe not sometimes) it is not. Baseball is for the most part over for us. So what do we do now you ask. Well we have summer league basketball & football practices, as well as the occasional travel baseball tournament, of course. Tonight I am sorting hoagies from Marianna's for a fundraiser I headed to benefit our schools football program. (If your local & never had a hoagie from Marianna's you need to get one asap) This brings me back to my original post about the importance of volunteering & helping with your children's sports & other groups. I can not stress how important this is. These groups are for the most volunteer driven. They all, even school sports, need all the help they can get. So many school districts are cutting funding to school sports programs. It really does not take a lot of time to head a fundraiser; I spent maybe a total of 7 hours (that's even being generous) spread over 2 months organizing this one. Fundraisers really are important to the programs & especially to the kids who benefit from all of these programs. So, I encourage all if you again to get out there & volunteer!!

Parent Breaks, Vol. 2

     To build on my last post Parent Breaks, I want to add a couple more thoughts on this topic. While your kids are very important in your life, there would be no kids if it wasn't for your relationship with your spouse. That's how the whole thing starts--with your relationship with your spouse, starting from your first date & built upon up to your having the kids.

     It's very easy to forget this after the kids come into your little family. As moms we tend to want to focus mostly on the kids, it's our nature. As dads, especially if you're a sports guy & your kids play, you want to focus on the kids playing sports. These things leave very little time for your marriage, especially when added to work schedules & other commitments.

     Putting your marriage first is so important for several reasons:

1. Not only was your spouse there before the kids, but when the kids leave the nest it will be your spouse who is there alone with you.
2. Having a loving, attentive relationship with your spouse teaches the kids what to look for in their own adult relationships, kids learn most by example.
3. So many marriages are failing these days with lack of spouses attention being cited as a big reason why in most.

    I'm sure there are a plethora of other reasons that a person could come up with, but those are my top 3 reasons.


My husband & I try to do as much as we can together as time allows. He is my best friend, I can't think of anyone I would rather spend my free time with. (Other than my kids of course) It is hard to think of things to do together so I found this helpful list on Pinterest to share with you. Just some easy quick ideas you might be interested in.

Parent Breaks

Being a parent is hard, being a sports parent is even harder. It's hard to get a break from your kids, it's harder to do that when you're running from field to field. Today my husband & I got a rare break & we took the time to attend Monty Python's Spamalot at MillBrook Playhouse. If you've never seen a play we highly recommend it. MillBrook is our local playhouse; they put on amazing plays. Our playhouse also has kid geared plays. Last year I took our daughter to The Little Mermaid. It was a great show & got our daughter interested in theater. She will be attending the Jrs acting camp in August. They will be putting on Madagascar Jr.
  If you are fortunate enough to have a local playhouse take my advice & take some time away from your kids & the fields to attend a play with your spouse. You won't regret it! It is so, so important to spend some alone time with your spouse.

Hurt Ball Players

If you've been to as many Little League games as I have you've seen kids get hit pretty much everywhere with the ball. It's always scary, but never as scary as when it's your kid who gets hit. As my son was pitching tonight a batter line drived a ball back at him straight into his rib cage; he dropped like a sack of potatoes. Nothing is more terrifying to a baseball mom than seeing that happen to your boy. As i watched helplessly all the coaches were on the field and an emt parent. Thankfully my boy got up, but as all players do they still want to play.

My son was benched just in case of a blood clot or fracture, much to his disappointment, even though he swore up & down he could play. Boys want to be tough & still play no matter how hurt they are. Ball moms have to remind them after the game no matter how disappointed they are their coaches have to do what is best for their health & safety. Pat their backs, wipe their tears, & tell them its ok; you love them even when they are on the bench hurt. Another thing I've learned the hard way no matter how bad you want to run out on that field or court DO NOT do it!!! If your sports boy is like mine he will die of embarrassment when he gets up. Just don't do it. Trust me on this!

Navigating the Teen Years

   We are kind of newer to the teen years since our son is only 15. But holy cow this is hard already. Right now my 6'5" teenage son is standing in a corner where I'm pretty sure I may leave him there for the rest of the night with the exception of baseball practice. What do you do with a talking back teenager? I do not know!!! I have had several bad thoughts cross my mind today, though none are effective parenting. Lol, I even asked my husband if it were too late to put him up for adoption. All joking aside if you too are having this problem what do you do that is effective? Think about it for a minute......

Webmd has a list of tips that you may find helpful while you try to hang onto your sanity. I know I may lose mine.

Family Holiday Get Togethers

     With a holiday comes the inevitable family get-together. With some families these get-togethers bring lots of dysfunction &/or frustration. Today at our family get-together my 10 yr old daughter learned a lesson about some things being better left unsaid. This is a hard lesson since you teach your children to be honest but also need to teach them that sometimes complete honesty can be a little mean. My children are older; they are 10 & 15. Their cousins are younger. Younger kids don't always understand boundaries; they just know they love their older cousins & want to be up their butts basically. My kids just came home from a weeks vacation with their younger cousins which probably caused some of my daughter's frustration today. As we were leaving the family cookout my nephew asked my daughter why we were leaving to which my daughter, in total 10 yr old brutal honesty replied to get away from you annoying me. Of course my nephews feelings were hurt, rightfully so. And my daughter had to apologize.

     Then we had to explain to my daughter why even if that is how you are honestly feeling you don't say it to someone since it is hurtful. After many tears from my daughter, I think she came to understand that discretion is the better part of valor. And we continued our 4th celebration by making our annual trip to 4th Fest. If you have never taken your family, we highly recommend it. They have so many great things going on. You may even be able to catch a Spikes game. Happy 4th everyone!!